his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
