I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
