do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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