If i come over, it means nothing
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
