So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
