what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dicks are not precious.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
