He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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