i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
