you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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