forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
