Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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