if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
