break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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