I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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