Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
