OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
