I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
