i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
