never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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