Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
