Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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