Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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