Do vagina's smell?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
