i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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