i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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