therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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