I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
