I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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