dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
