my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
