My Higher Power is John Stamos
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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