He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
