There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize