so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
