i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
