I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he was CRYING into my vagina
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
