What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
