the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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