I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
