You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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