ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
