Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
