There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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