dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
