i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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