It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
