party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
