you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
