I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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