You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
