You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
