That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
