Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He did a backflip because drugs
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