I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
