Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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