as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
