Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
