She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm too high and old for this...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
