walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
