She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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