Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
