Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
