when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
