I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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