my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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