You can't special order awesome
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
