we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
