none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
