So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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